Paul Nervy Notes
“Jokes, poems, stories, and a lot of philosophy, psychology, and sociology.”


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Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  .See also: Psychology, drive, goals.  See also: Sociology, struggling.  See also: Philosophy, opportunity and luck, etc.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  .This section is about successs and failure.  Topics include: ( ) Success.  ( ) Failure.  ( ) Winning.  ( ) Losing.  ( ) What things constitute success.  ( ) What things constitute failure.  ---  1/24/2006


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  (1) Every success is a win, but not every win is an success.  (Ex. unearned wins).  (2) Every failure is a loss, but not every loss is a failure.  (Ex. unavoidable losses).  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  (1) Failure is about your lack of effort (not giving 100%), and your breakdowns of moral principle.  (2) Losing is about the outcome of your effort.  Outcomes of competition.  (3) Loss is about losing something dear to you or something needed by you.  (See psychology, grief).  ---  12/29/1997


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  (1) Metaphysics: gain/loss of x vs. (2) Ethics: how you view it.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  (1) Number or frequency of successes and failures.  (2) Magnitude or degree of sucesses and failures.  (3) Areas or types of successes and failures.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  (1) One could argue that we all fail, because no one lives up to their full potential, because one can always do more.  (2) One could also argue that we all succeed because no one asked to be born into this situation, and despite that you must have done something well at some point in your life.  ---  9/17/2005


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  (1) Real success: Makes you feel good?  Helps you grow?  (2) Real failure: Makes you feel bad?  Destroys you?  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  (1) Short term vs. long term success/failure.  (2) Permanent vs. nonpermanant success/failure.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  (1) Society, other people, will judge you a success or failure.  (2) You will have your own view of which of your actions were successful or failures.  You will have your own view of your overall status of success or failure.  (3) Society, other people, may have an inaccurate view of you.  You might have an inaccurate view of you.  ---  7/16/2006


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  (1) Success spiral.  You get the good thing done, and the positive reinforcement.  (2) Failure spiral.  You get the bad done and the negative reinforcement.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  (1) Success.  (A) Picking goals: picking right ones.  (B) Pursuing goals: how hard, how long.  (C) Achieving goals: how close, how fast.  (D) Success is pleasurable to have.  (E) It is tough to succeed.  (2) Failures: mistakes, pain, unhealth, getting screwed, anything hurting you.  It is easy to fail.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  (1) Typical fatuous criteria of success:  Money.  Power.  Material goods.  Big home.  Big car.  Many toys.  Possessions.  (2) Better criteria of success:  Helping the world.  Living life on your own terms.  Sustainability.  Social justice.  (3) Typical fatuous criteria of failure:  Not rich.  (4) Better criteria of failure:  Doing what everyone else does.  Thinking what everyone else thinks.  ---  6/26/2004


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  (1) You are a personal success if you tried your best, even if you are somewhere below average compared to the group, that is, assuming society's values are worthwhile.  (2) You are a personal success if you tried your best, even if society considers you a failure, especially if society's values are not worthwhile.  ---  9/17/2005


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  A history of living right and success, gives you self-esteem.  A history of living wrong and failure, gives you anxiety.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  A success is any good thing you do, especially to self.  A failure is any bad thing you do, especially to self.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Achieving goals: how fast you can reach them, and how close you reach them.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Attempting vs. not attempting.  Giving it your all vs. doing it half assed.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Avoid failures and losses.  When they do occur try not to let them be psychologically damaging (anxiety, depression, anger).  A draw is better than a failure.  A retreat is better than a failure.  ---  6/20/2003


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Bad attitudes.  (1) I don't care whether I win or lose.  (2) I lost once, so I am always a loser.  (3) Winning is guaranteed.  (4) Winning is my right.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Becoming comfortable failing vs. not accepting failure.  It always should feel bad to fail, but you shouldn't let it drive you crazy.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Combos.  (1) Winning and succeeding: great.  (2) Winning and failing: didn't try your best.  (3) Losing and succeeding: moral victory.  (4) Losing and failing: sucks.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Complacency breeds mediocrity.  ---  6/4/2004


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Defining success and failure.  (1) Objective success/failure vs. subjective success/failure.  (2) Your definitions vs. society's view.  Whose is truer?  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Defining your own successes.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Definition.  There is no success, only failure by degree.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Did you win or lose by (1) Luck vs. skill, (2) Fairly vs. cheating.  ---  04/30/1993


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Do you think more of (1) Past failure: guilt, psyches you out, (2) Past success: confidence, psyches you up, (3) Future failure: fear, or (4) Future success: hope.  (5) Which is most productive?  (See optimism/pessimism).  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Do you think more of past successes and failures or future successes and failures?  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Effects on psychology: positive and negative.  Effects on behavior: positive and negative.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Factors involved in success and failure.  (1) Mental factors: knowledge, drive, best attitudes, health.  (2) Physical factors.  (3) Financial, economic factors.  (4) Social factors.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Failure can be easy and comfortable.  Success can be difficult and painful.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Failure causes pain and depression.  Success causes confidence, satisfaction, and happiness.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Failures hurt.  Successes help.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Fear of success and fear of failure (fear of change) can make you blow opportunities.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Figure out what you want and don't (success/failure).  Get what you want and don't (success/failure).  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Giving up on stupid means or ends is smart.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Giving up.  (1) Always get back on the horse vs. (2) know when to cut your loses.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Giving up.  (1) Discouragement vs. (2) getting back on the horse vs. (3) knowing when to quit, and why.  Knowing when to cut your loses.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Giving up.  Always get back on the horse, but only after you've cursed yourself, the horse, and god.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Giving up.  Picking yourself back up and turning yourself around.  The rebound.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Giving up.  Quitting vs. changing your goals (evolution, stagnation, devolution).  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  If a success or failure seems big at the moment, but small after time, how do you judge its degree?  A truly important success or failure may be forgotten over time.  Or you may only begin to appreciate an important success or failure after years of thought.  What to do?  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Importance or size of a success or failure.  You often misjudge how a success or failure will make you feel.  Success can feel either not as good or better than you thought.  Failure can either hurt more or be not as bad as you thought.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Important vs. unimportant goals.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Is a win what makes you feel good vs. is a win what improves your position most?  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Learn from your successes and failures: what did I do wrong, what did I do right?  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Losing vs. being robbed.  (1) The feeling (emotional feeling and physical feeling) of winning and losing.  (A) Winning and losing to fate.  (B) Winning and losing a fight with another person.  (C) Winning and losing with self.  (2) The feeling (emotional feeling and physical feeling) of having been wronged.  The feeling of injustice and justice.  (A) Injustice and justice of fate.  (B) Injustice and justice by others.  (C) Injustice and justice toward self.  (3) The above two situations produce two different sets of feelings.  (A) In the first case, winning and losing implies that some kind of contest was in effect.  The contest may have been a game, play, or for fun.  The contest may have been serious.  Contest implies that all contestants were aware that they were involved in competition.  Contest implies rules.  Contest implies contestants having some degree of control.  (B) Being wronged (by nature, others or self) often occurs out of the sheer blue.  Often you feel you weren't playing, or you feel some kind of rule was broken.  ---  6/23/2000


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Losing vs. giving up vs. not trying.  ---  06/01/1993


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Losing: competition with others.  Failure: competition with self.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Many small successes or failures vs. one big success or failure.  The big win, and the big win feeling, transforms the individual and lasts a long time.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Maximum effort vs. minimum effort.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Me.  Why I fail.  Repressed drive and fears lead to neurosis and self destruction.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Members of a hyper-competitive society view everything as winning and losing.  Members of a healthy society just try their best.  It is not a contest.  There is no such thing as success and failure.  Success and failures are meaningless words.  ---  6/15/2005


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Most people judge success and failure in terms of material physical object possessions and social status in a public world.  They do not think of psychological gains in your personal world.  Success and failure is as much relative to you as it is relative to others.  Giving something your best shot.  Developing your head.  Getting what you need most.  ---  12/01/1993


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  My view of success and failure.  (1) What do I consider success?  Helping the world.  (2) What do I consider a failure?  Helping only myself.  ---  10/31/2004


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Nothing is perfect, therefore nothing is a complete success.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Objective event: your actions and the outcome.  Subjective response: your emotion.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Objective success and failure, or real success and failure.  Subjective success and failure: individually perceived success and failure, or societally perceived success and failure.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Objective success and failure: metaphysics, vs. subjective success and failure: ethics.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  One conventional view says that a quitter never wins and a winner never quits.  I say that quitting a losing game is being a winner.  To quit being a loser is to be a winner.  ---  9/24/1999


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  One success leads to another.  One failure leads to another.  Death and growth spirals.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Optimism and pessimism: whether you tend to remember good or bad.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Percent success vs. percent failure, for any action.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Perception of success or failure, and perception of winning or losing, in any event that you participate in.  (See optimism/pessimism).  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Problems.  (1) Self destruction.  (2) Repression attitudes, "I do not need it.  It is not important.  It does not matter".  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Psychological affects of winning and losing.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Setting yourself up for success or failure.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Society's conventional views of success and failure.  (1) What does conventional society consider a success?  Money and power.  (2) What does conventional society consider a failure?  Lack of money and power.  I do not agree.  ---  10/31/2004


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Some people throw their failures into the garbage.  Some people trash their failed attempts.  People sometimes feel angry, depressed, embarrassed or humiliated regarding their failures.  Other people, for example, scientists, save their failures in order to guide their research.  Do not throw out your failures.  Do not throw out your past.  Do not throw out your early work.  Take a scientist's attitude toward your past failures.  ---  12/6/2005


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.  Sometimes you win when you should have lost.  Sometimes you lose when you should have won.  Sometimes you win when you are wrong.  Sometimes you lose when you are right.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Success and failure caused by you, by others, and by nature.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Success and failure in setting goals, and success and failure in getting goals.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Success and failure offset each other.  A big success can make up for many small failures, and visa versa.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Success and failure with dignity, catharsis and justice.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Success depends on your view of what's good.  Success equals doing the most good you can.  ---  5/5/2006


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Success is about getting healthy (psychologically and physically), getting smart, saving the world, and fighting injustice.  Success is about picking the right goals and pursuing them with all your energy.  Picking the wrong goals and being lazy is failure.  ---  11/20/1997


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Success walks hand in hand with failure.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Success, win, victory vs. failure, loss, defeat.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Success: warm feeling.  Failure: fu*ked feeling.  Keep in touch with these feelings, they help you judge things.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Success.  If you are trying your best to think and do, that is excellence.  Excellence is not about being the best in some group.  Success is being your best.  ---  6/4/2004


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Success.  What determines success in life?  Some people say money and power is success.  Others say that as long as you are happy that is success.  But some people are made happy by unhealthy, unethical things.  A worthy cause, helping others, that is success.  ---  8/4/2004


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Techs.  (1) How to get successes and wins: peak performance and sports psychology.  (2) How to avoid failure and loss?  (3) How to deal with failure and loss when it does occur?  (4) How to deal with successes and wins when they occur?  So they don't destroy you.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Techs.  A man has got to know his limitations, they say.  If you ignore your limits (physical, psychological, and social), or if you show hubris, you will pay a heavy price.  Don't be stupid, don't push things to breaking point.  Don't live in a dream world.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Techs.  Constantly mull over whether you are making the right ethical choices in your life.  Think about it a lot.  Think of the alternatives, and the reasons pro and contra any move.  Not just for big decisions, but for small ones too.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Techs.  Develop and maintain optimum mind in order to deal optimally with situation.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Techs.  If you can say "I tried my hardest, in thought and action, to develop and get best goals best", you won't feel sad or angry at yourself, and what ever happens it won't be because you didn't try.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Techs.  Learn long before you must make the decision.  Watch others, experiment, practice, and do a test run.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Techs.  The most radical thing you can do.  (1) Think of a new, better, important, powerful, useful idea.  (2) Say a new, better, important, powerful, useful statement.  (3) Do a new, better, important, powerful, useful action.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Techs.  There are no mentors.  You've got to figure things out yourself.  Find your own way.  No one gives nothing to no one.  Find it yourself, and take it yourself.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Techs.  When it comes to your body, play it safe, because you only get one.  Always review, always learn about risks.  Don't ignore warning signs.  Don't ignore any important area of life.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  The role played by (1) Luck: good luck and bad luck, fortune and misfortune.  (2) Behavior: practice and preparation, and effort at time of need.  (3) Opportunities seized vs. missed.  (4) Psychological: ability, talent, skill, intelligence, natural and developed.  (5) Ethics: goals, means and ends, standards, values.  (6) Opposition: struggling.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  There is no such thing as failure.  We all try our best.  ---  3/21/2004


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Three definitions of the big win.  (1) Maximum payoff in minimum time?  (2) Maximum payoff with minimum risk?  (3) Maximum payoff with minimum effort?  (4) Sometimes high risk, high effort, long term wins are sweet.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Training for peak performance.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Two cool situations regarding success and failure.  (1) Society says you are a winner, yet you feel like a loser.  (2) Society says you are a loser, yet you feel like a winner.  ---  4/29/2001


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Types of success and failure.  (1) By chance (natural) vs. (2) through effort or neglect (individual) vs. (3) by opposition vs. by help (social).  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Types of wins.  (1) Easy wins vs. tough wins.  (2) Quick wins vs. long drawn out struggles and wins.  (3) Important wins vs. unimportant wins.  (4) Fair wins vs. unfair wins.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  What do you consider success and failure?  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  What if something makes you grow in one area and destroys you in another?  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Why I fail, and why I don't succeed.  (1) If it is not perfect, it is trash and I hate it.  (2) I don't want it.  (3) I don't need it.  (4) I don't care if I don't get it.  (5) If I'm not perfect, I'm trash.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Winning and losing occur in the context of a contest.  However, the goal of the contest may be worthless, the means of the contest may be stupid, and the rules of the contest may be unfair.  So think twice about who you call a winner and loser.  ---  11/15/2001


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Wins and successes pump you up, get you psyched, make you happy, give you hope, keep you going, and reinforce pursuing behavior.  Failures do the opposite.  ---  12/30/1992


Philosophy, ethics, success and failure.  ---  Your success/failure ratio: in total, or in any area.  ---  12/30/1992




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Paul Nervy Notes. Copyright 1988-2007 by Paul Nervy.