Paul Nervy Notes
“Jokes, poems, stories, and a lot of philosophy, psychology, and sociology.”


Main page




Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  .This section is about self destruction.  ---  1/24/2006


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  (1) It is not just anger at self that causes self destruction.  It can be any negative emotion, such as depression or fear.  Or it can even be apathy or lack of emotion.  (2) There is a great deal of similarity between self destructive tendencies and "giving up" or "giving in" to outside forces that either want to destroy you or don't care if you die.  And if you don't care if you die then chances are you will die.  (3) Self destructiveness can be caused merely by lack of self-like-ing and self-caring.  That is, apathy.  Inability to feel for self caused by emotional repression.  When you can't feel then you don't care (about self, or others, or anything).  When you don't care then you do anything, including really bad stuff (to yourself or to others).  (4) Often a series of small self-destructive acts can be as bad as one big destructive act.  ---  4/1/2000


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  (1) Self destruction.  (A) Partial and slow self destruction (ex. booze).  (B) Complete and quick self destruction (ex. suicide).  (2) Destruction of other people or stuff.  (A) Partial and slow destruction (ex. physical or mental torture).  (B) Complete and quick destruction (ex. murder).  ---  5/15/2001


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  Another reason I hurt myself.  Existential rebellion.  Didn't want to accept my situation and limitations.  ---  12/30/1996


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  Causes and mechanisms of self sabotage and self destruction.  (1) Guilt.  Perceived or actual commission of a unethical (evil, sinful) act yields guilt over same yields self punishment to get out of the guilt or shame when societal punishment does not occur.  (2) Low self esteem.  Undeserving feelings like, "I don't deserve to be happy, healthy, successful", "I am no good", "I should suffer", due to low self esteem and low self worth yield self destructive acts.  (3) Depression and pessimism.  Inability to see your self worth at a high enough level to spur you to take care of yourself well enough to survive.  Self worth is based on future potential you could do (help self, help someone else, do good work, grow as a person, think good ideas in a healthy body).  If you don't see all the possible good you could do, you won't tend to be driven to care for yourself as well.  You won't see fully how much and many ways you are hurting yourself when you neglect or abuse self, waste resources, or when you don't go for your goals 100%.  (4) Unconsciously stopping yourself from doing something because you think (A) You can't do it at all.  (B) You can't do it well enough as others, or as it deserves to be done.  (C) You can't do it the best, i.e. others can do it better and thus should do it rather than you.  (5) Fear of failure.  (6) Fear of success.  (7) Self loathing, or loathing of others or world.  (8) Risk taking due to adrenaline addiction.  (9) Retarded ethical development.  (10) Acute or chronic craziness, evilness, stupidness.  ---  12/30/1996


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  Destruction: self destruction and destruction of others.  Destruction is caused by anger.  Self destruction is caused by anger too?  Both are causes or effects of rebellion against unjust pain experiences.  Taking anger out on an innocent.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  I have an evil twin.  The pathological and sub-optimal Paul.  Destroying my life.  Why is he doing this?  He's a perfectionist?  He destroys the imperfect and starts over (like artist).  But nothing is ever perfect.  Reach perfection more slowly.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  It is not always a death wish, it is sometimes a death apathy.  You don't want to die, you just don't care if you die.  And you will accept high risks, especially in order to get a big kick or goal (like a first ascent).  ---  11/20/1993


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  Knocking yourself down just to see if you can get up, or trying to prove to yourself that you can get back up, is no way to live.  Stacking the deck against yourself because you think it makes you better or greater when you win is no way to live.  Being naughty or bad or hurtful to yourself or others for no reason in order to try to assert your independence is no way to live.  Doing desperate things because you feel desperate is no way to live.  ---  01/26/1994


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  My thanatos drive, i.e. self sabotage and self destruction.  Hurting myself physically.  Throwing it all away.  Giving up.  Destroying what I have worked for.  Hurting others.  Are these traits from depression, anger, low self esteem, fear of failure, fear of success?  ---  12/30/1996


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  Self destruction.  Self sabotage of opportunities, of accomplishments, of goals, to any degree.  (1) Causes: (A) Anger, frustration at world, others, self, (B) Fear, anxiety, (C) Rebellion.  (2) Therapy: (A) Don't throw anything away, make it better.  (B) Follow your dreams, and give it your all because you'll feel better, you'll get farther, your mid life crisis will be smaller, you'll be less self destructive.  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  Self destruction.  Why do I consciously and unconsciously try to ruin everything for myself and for others?  ---  12/30/1992


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  Self destructiveness and carelessness due to (1) Mania and feeling of indestructibility.  (2) Desire to break earthly bounds, limits, pains.  Freedom desire.  This is hubris.  Limitations increase with age.  (3) Self loathing.  (4) Riskiness, taking chances.  (5) Hypochondria and malingering.  Desire to take the role of the sick person.  (6) Masochism.  The desire to feel pain.  Self inflicted pain.  ---  12/30/1995


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  Self destructiveness is suicidal behavior.  Suicide as a way to stop the pain of living.  Pain of living caused by low serotonin levels, which in turn causes a depression that makes it difficult to find an interest in things, develop a purpose in life, or find any happiness to counteract life's negative side.  ---  07/30/1996


Psychology, pathological, specific, self destruction.  ---  The roads to self destruction are many; to survival less; and to growth very few.  It is unbelievable we survive at all.  Chalk a lot of it up to instinct.  ---  03/01/1988




Main page


Paul Nervy Notes. Copyright 1988-2007 by Paul Nervy.